I'm Airin.
Officially fifteen
I'm a hard-core shopper.
& i Love to Daydream! ;D Love me, as i love you. [:
♥ Ohso Drama!
Reminscening the Childhood. Daddy, bring me to the beach and play alright? Would you take me to Europe one day? I wanna shop like a professional.(: I'm a vain-pok; I want to look pretty. & The Resplendence Matinee is forever. soulmate is the most important person in my life.
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I wish i am the FAIRY QUEEN;
who can give whatever my loved ones want.
I hope to be a ENTERTAINER;
so that i can entertain my loved ones.
I want to be with my GIRLFRIEND;
to be with them forever.
I CARE for my friends;
they are my support in life.
I CHERISH my surronding;
as life is fragile.
The GRANTED wish of mine;
I had a good life.
The HOPELESS wish of mine;
I want to be happy&carefree.
well , back here to write a post . went to parkwayparade today with family n buddy . not thr to find him but thr to shop . everything looks happy , but i'm not . i gave them those happy look but thn i'm real sad in my heart . somehow , i really really missed him alot . somehow , i realised i m wrong . seeking for forgivness ; seeking for the love we had last time . yet so i wishes , i don't think i can do it anymore. i'm losing faith in myself . can i do it or not ? make it like before ...
somehow , my love for him is getting deeper and deeper till the state like he is everything to me ... i just can't believe i did so many things to him that has causes me to think it like ... he's disappointment in me in deeper than the disappointment i have in him . maybe i m that bad as a gf . so hard to believe i can't handle my relationship . but i know ... he is the first relationship i cherish it so much . so important tht evn in the hospital , i hold the ring he gave me in my hand to sleep ... cos i just can't lose it ....
day pass by so quickly ... wht's on my mind thn these days ? missing him ... thinking about our memories ... kind of stupid u might think . well , tht's me though ... saw him tdy at parkway parade , saw how hard he is working thn i knew ... how tired he could be ... yet so , i push him so hard tht he might not be able to take it anymore ... i throw myself into the sea . i stab my heart myself to bleed . the cut on my leg wasn't pain but the pain came from the heart ...
love is blind .. the more i see him .. the mor ei see him as my prince , but i may be losing him forever . maybe memories are supposed to be vanish one day . if i can ... i really wish to start everything anew .f rom the day i was born till tdy . i want everything new . a fresh new start ... cos i really don't like my now ...
this is my first time feeling so sad . really depressed . till everyone can see my mind through what i m thinking ... evn my parents ... the night was so clear to me and i can't sleep . the day was tiring ... and i just wonder why i cried ? my tears just flow out like tht ... i told myself ... eileen , never cry again . don't be the old you ... be strong . handle things bravely n firmly .cry looks awful , not nice . don't cry . nono . but , i just did it . i'm just terribly sad , depressed .
i need silence . so just leave me alone . warmth is not allowed . leave me in coldness . i wish that very day would come by and ask god to bring me with him ...
